Strange Times 80: A Very Large Cock
Today we have a rooster murdered, a train saved, a bear avoided, and a Riviera crime wave that did not go unpunished. Keep a close eye on your wallet for…
March 21, 1921
Dr. Harry Barringer Cox declares that he has found a way to combat malnutrition by distilling fruits and vegetables to their “vitamic essence,” developing a condiment that contains all the vitamines a person could need. He also claims to have developed a tin box that keeps fruits and vegetables fresh for years.
Leaders of the nascent National Woman’s Party call for an Equal Rights Amendment, and announce plans to begin publishing a feminist magazine.
Acquitted last week of the murder of oilman Jake Hamon, Clara Hamon was baptised “without incident” in Oklahoma in the First Christian Church of Ardmore.
The Weather: Showers today; fair and much cooler tomorrow; strong southwest winds.
“The Concierge Who Ate the Prime Minister’s Rooster” is surely the Frenchest story published in this newsletter since the Notre Dame platinum heist in Issue 65. I hope we get to find out what happens when the Tiger comes home.
PARIS, March 20.—Clemenceau is expected back in Paris this week and when he reaches his home in Rue Franklin a sorrowful surprise awaits him—his pet rooster is no more.
The tragedy of the rooster is revealed by the concierge. The former French Premier kept in his backyard a very large cock, which crowed almost incessantly form 3 o’clock in the morning on. It enjoyed the enmity of the neighborhood but so long as the old “Tiger” was at home no one dared to object.
But he went away. The rooster stayed. He kept on crowing, and so one day Dr. Renard, who lives upstairs, went to the police and complained. The concierge was notified that the rooster violated the laws of Paris and that the police were coming next day to get the bird.
That night the concierge had fricaseed the rooster for dinner.
The Police Prefect of the Seine and Clemenceau’s concierge are shaking with fear. President Millerand has as yet made no statement for publication.
You thought this was going to be about baseball, didn’t you? Instead, it is sweeter and more heroic than anything the ballpark has to offer.
TORONTO, Ont., March 20.—Sam Lowe of Holland Landing, near here, discovered today a washout on the railway tracks eighteen feet long by ten feet wide just as the train from North Bay was approaching.
Lowe took of his red socks and used them to flag the train, which was stopped in time.
Passengers on the train collected $28 and presented the money to Lowe.
There’s nothing funny about getting chased by a bear. And yet, also, there is.
SUSSEX, N.J., March 20—A black bear attacked John Belcher, 17 years old, near his home at Vernon Township today. The boy was walking on the railroad tracks near here when he saw the bear about fifty feet away.
He said he threw stones at the animal, and struck it over the paws with a stick when it chased him. He ran to a farmhouse, he said, but when he returned with help the bear had disappeared.
Without question, “The Tennis Star’s Wife Who Rifled Handbags on the Riviera” must be the Frenchest story published in this newsletter since the one about the rooster.
PARIS, March 20.—Society on the Riviera has been greatly disturbed this week by a distressing case of theft, in which the wife of Gordon Lowe, English covered court amateur tennnis champion, was involved.
For some time past complaints have been received by the police, both at Nice and at Cannes, that considerable sums of money had been taken from pocketbooks of coats which had been left lying about at tennis courts during club and championship games. As the thefts had occurred at times when the general public was not admitted, suspicion attached to some players and the police were faced with delicate work.
Two detectives, disguised as gardeners, were placed on watch at the Cannes Tennis Club during some trial games and there, according to evidence which they gave at the Grasse Police Court, they saw Mrs. Lowe pick up a coat and remove from the pocketbook banknotes for 5,000 francs. They at once arrested her and she was taken before a Magistrate. When questioned she confessed that she had lost heavily on the gaming tables at Monte Carlo and had taken the money because she did not wish to tell her husband.
From Cannes Mrs. Lowe was taken to Grasse County Town, and after two days’ incarceration was released on what is called “provisional liberty.”
She and her husband left immediately for England, and it is understood that the matter will not be pursued further, Mr. Gordon Lowe having taken immediate steps to refund all the money taken.
